Middle Spaces & Mediocrity

Where life is lived...

I’d like to posit the middle space, in whatever form you interpret it, is not the same as mediocre.  And at the same time, mediocrity isn’t always such a bad thing.  Sure, when it comes to, say, your dental hygienist or surgeon or tax preparer, we’re not looking for mediocrity here.  We want precision, gentleness, thoroughness, and the most bang for our buck.  However, mediocrity is akin to ordinary and indifference as well.  There is something about the ordinariness of life and the indifference (or acceptance) of things out of our control that is essential to living life.  None of us are immune to these things.  Even the most famous or infamous among us still engage in ordinary things.  The highest-ranking officials, royals, and delegates put their pants on one leg at a time.  How ordinary.  

The middle space is not the same as mediocre.  

The middle space is rich with learning, growing, and building a foundation.  A life isn’t built on the mountain tops or in the valleys.  We just can’t sustain what it takes to navigate those places.  It’s not terrain that welcomes a long life.  But the middle space, the ordinary days, that’s a place we occupy most of the time.  We learn how to be committed to one another, to our work, to the daily tasks that keep the world going round.  We learn how to be content and how to accept what is.  We can look at the world with humility when we’re all on the same ordinary time.  None of this is mediocre life.  It’s what life is all about, if you ask me.

Mediocrity isn’t always such a bad thing.  

This almost sounds the opposite.  Well, sometimes two seemingly opposing things can be true at once.  It’s a paradox of life.  No other explanation.  The mediocrity of things is good for us to experience.  A sort of humble pie, I suppose.  Learning that I might not be the special thing I often think I am.  And also, learning how to work hard and not get the end result I was looking for.  There’s always someone smarter, better, prettier, faster, more talented, better suited, etc., etc.  When I can accept my own mediocrity without putting myself down, I’m able to step into my true power—my one, authentic self.  

What does it look like to accept our own mediocrity?  

For me, taking responsibility for my actions and being willing to accept my failures, insecurities, and shortcomings has been part of the process.  I’m just like everyone else.  I make poor choices.  I hurt people I love.  I have gross thoughts pass through my mind. I’m not immune to temptation, and I often choose the wrong path when tested.  I am lured by the path of least resistance though I crush people [in my heart of hearts] when they do the same.  I am a hypocrite!  The scent of mediocrity is thick! I don’t expect these things of myself.  I don’t want these things for myself.  But the reality is very clear to me.  And with that clarity comes humility.  Accepting and even welcoming mediocrity.  

And sometimes, mediocrity is as simple as being normal, nothing special.  I came, showed up, worked, went home, that’s it.  Have you ever noticed in moments that don’t seem too special there appears a sudden deep or meaningful space?  Or perhaps you’ve been told about a time when you were just going about your own [mediocre] business and someone was deeply impacted by it.  There is a power in not succumbing to the idea that we have to try really hard all the time.  Or that we have to conjure meaning and purpose and a good life.  Perhaps life, in all of it’s sacredness and mediocrity, is good. Whether we think it, believe it, or feel it.  Life is good because it’s life. Nothing more special than that.  

If we venture back to the middle space for a moment.  Ah, this is where much of life is lived.  In the tension of processing our experiences, our thoughts and feelings, and how those affect our beliefs and worldviews.  In the tension of having a different opinion or experience than someone else.  In the tension of seeing and experiencing the world differently than another.  In the tension of having expectations unmet and holding that space with someone you love.  So much is to be learned, deepened, and even broken open in that middle space.  We are stretched in a way that might be uncomfortable.      

Who would have thought that deep stretching and growth and real meaning-making would happen in the ordinary spaces of life?  In between the highs and lows that mark our walls and social pages, we are all living ordinary lives.  I long to be present to my own mediocrity, to the mediocre moments, and to embrace the humility of my ordinariness.  

Will you join me?